Welcome to Christopher and Ella’s Domestic Discipline Blog! Through this blog, we will attempt to give a little more insight into this life that we share. Not only will we share some aspects of our day to day life along with our individual thoughts, but we will post entries that detail our own perspective accounts of the punishments in our videos. We hope you enjoy!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy New Years!

First off, I do not like this new blogger format. I have obviously been MIA, and I haven't had to navigate this new look yet.

Just a little update from me. Grad school is life consuming. I wasn't expecting any less though. I'm in classes all year round now, and winter break is all I will have from now on. Luckily, I get a whole month. I'll be honest though, last semester really kicked me in the butt and I doubt that I will be able to get on here a whole lot when the semester starts back up again. Between classes, research, dissertation, Christopher's dance competitions, practicum, volunteering, and the "self-care" they beg us to remember, it is rare I can find time to shower!

If you're wondering I didn't get an end of the semester spanking :), YAY. I got paddled for two grades during the semester, but I was luckily able to still pull out of that class with an A. However, we've changed the grades that I get spanked for. In grad school, anything below a B- is considered failing (by the program). However, we're all fairly competitive and the B is rare. So now I get spanked for anything less than a 95 which is what I need to get an A. To be honest, for all of you who think Christopher is harsh with me, he is nothing compared to how hard I am on myself when it comes to grades. When I got a B, I was devastated. I know I SHOULDN'T validate myself through my grades, I know, I know, I know.... but I do. I know some people might celebrate for an A, but I have to go out and get a nice dinner if I get a B in order to comfort myself. So before Christopher paddled me, he took me to dinner, and let me recover a little from my own horror.

It's really great though because for the first time in my life, I am surrounded by people just like me. I don't feel like the biggest nerd anymore. People are just as OCPD as I am, and it's great!

Anyway, I'll try to write more later but Christopher is hungry and we're getting Thai! :D

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Hello!!!

Moving In
Well, I know a lot of you have been wondering, "where the heck are these guys!!??" Well, we've got some good news:). We moved!!! Yes, in step with that great American dream, Ella and I purchased a new built home here a few weeks ago. Ever since we've been doing our best to get our home put into some kind of livable shape. It didn't help that the week that immediately followed our closing, I had to manage a large event for my company which basically meant every waking moment was either spent with customers at the event, managing our shuttles or taking our customers out to dinner.
So needless to say, as I type I'm looking at the mess of a home still being unpacked. Unfortunately, with my busy travel schedule and Ella's new graduate studies, we've been hard pressed to give the house the attention it needs. So if we put out any videos in the new future but you see a box in the background, that's why:).
So that being said, things here in the C&E household are going quite well. Ella's Mom actually gave us a nice little early wedding present and set us up with a whole fund for buying new furniture. Talk about something completely unexpected! For me, I've never actually had someone be so generous as to help furnish my house. That was pretty amazing. Once we get all settled in and start decorating, we'll have to make sure to take some pictures so you guys can see. Also, we like it as it'll give us some new places to film for our videos! I'm sure you guys have to be as tired as I was seeing that old couch we used for our living room. Well, the new sectional is really nice and sets a great tone. And wait till we get the bedroom done! We picked up this wonderful leather sleigh bed along with some nice oversized bedroom pieces. To cap it off, I installed a crystal chandelier to help give a nice romantic feeling. Once we get the room painted and decorated I think the room will have a great look!
Anyway, that's what's been going on with us. We hope to get back to the blog as soon as we can and posting more regularly. I hope everybody's doing well out there in cyberland and we'll see you soon!
Until next time!
Christopher
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Monday, May 28, 2012

Gallery Vote

Yea or Nay do you want to keep seeing picture galleries with the videos? (It might take longer for us to publish videos)

Also, we're posting two videos tonight :).

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Time vs Strokes

Time versus strokes
So Ella and I recently started talking about the concept of using time versus strokes. What we're talking about here is, instead of saying, 'when we get home you're getting 15 strokes with the paddle', I'm now saying, 'when we get home you're getting 5 minutes of warm-up followed by 2 minutes with the belt'. So I'd like to talk about why we made the adjustment, how's it gone and how's its a bit different.

First off, the reasons for the change. You know, as Ella and I go through our daily lives, it often happens through different lens'. I see the world through my lens and El sees it through hers. Both have their unique vantage point, but often times they can look at the same situation and not see the same thing. This is what often happened as we looked back as a few weeks had passed. I would often hear Ella state that she felt like we needed to get back to our Dynamic as it felt like it was becoming vanillanized (ok, so I just made up). And I would be totally surprised because as I would look back, she had been spanked almost daily. Sure, the spankings were sometimes short but they often carried with it the proper tone and some were pretty tough implement wise. So why on earth did she feel like she was still missing the dynamic. It was as if those sessions didn't even count.

This is when I realized that women value 'time'. Of course, not just any random amount of time, but the RIGHT amount of time. Two minute spanking, not enough time. Two hour spanking, TOO MUCH TIME. It kinda reminds me of some other areas of life, but I digress.

So, even though we'd come home and she'd get 15 strokes with the wooden paddle. The session would be over before she could even get in the right mindset. And there in lies the issue. Women have to get to that mindset that makes things work for them. We guys pretty much don't have that issue.

So we switched. I started assigning time as punishments. First off, I always have a warmup as the first phase. And I make a rule that no warmup is shorter than three minutes. That gives her plenty of time to not only get warmed up but also get into the right mindset. Then, depending on the severity of the infraction, I then either do more with the hand or move to some implement. Obviously, the more severe the implement the more careful I am with the amount of time. So I'm not assigning 5 minute sessions with the wooden paddle.

So far, I'm extremely pleased with the results. Once we started this, Ella started seeing each session as a full session and the feel of the lack of DD disappeared. It's not to say we still don't have our dry spells or down periods. Usually that happens when we're arguing about something that needs to be resolved between the two of us.

One word of caution. You do need to play with the timing aspect and find what works for you. I know that ella had two infractions here recently that were fairly serious and I can tell you she was oh so sore as we drove back to for graduation.


Christopher


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Time

Alright, I leave for a few months, and blogger completely changes on me again. It's like facebook, I can't keep up!

I am exhausted, and my head feels like it's filled with air, but this is the first time in months I've actually had a free hour with nothing else to do! I am very behind the news in our side world, here. Hopefully, soon I'll even find some time to catch up on all of your lives!

I mentioned this briefly before, but lately C and I have been experimenting with time vs. swats. Wow, does it make a massive difference, for me anyway. Instead of threatening or giving me a certain number of swats, I've been getting a certain number of minutes. For some reason, it effects my psyche in a better and more powerful way. Before, 15 or 30 swats would go by in an instant, and it would be over before I even remembered why I was bent over to begin with! My bully caveman would dish it out, and I would just grind my teeth and wait it out. I never even had time to really "get there." I could get these spankings multiple times a day, and at the end of the week, I would think that I never really got spanked. Time allows me to really sink into it. I know that it doesn't matter how much I cry or beg, I'm getting my allotted time, and it feels more like a punishment.

Christopher has actually really loved our little adjustment. He insists that he's going to blog about it, so I won't steal his thunder. We have made it a point to keep this coming weekend very light. We have been packed to the second for months now, and we desperately need a weekend where we don't travel too much or have too many commitments lined up. My goal is to shove him in front of the computer then ;).

p.s. he loves reading comments!!! Encourage him so he can write more, and I won't feel as bad about not writing as much! He's always so proud of himself when he posts; it's really cute. I keep telling him people are just waiting to hear from him and bear with me until he shows up, but he won't listen. (He doesn't read half the things I post, and so I hope he doesn't read this :). Christopher, if you are... I llooovvee you, don't be mad!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Dear Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,
It's Christopher. I usually leave the blog stuff to El because this is her baby and from the writing side of things she's significantly better at it than I am. But I truly do believe you the wrong idea about us and I wanted to write to you to ask you to pause for just a moment to look beyond the blog and consider our normal life.

I realize that all you have to go on are the posts we have here and with only that it can be very misleading. You might be interested to know that if you met us in just a casual atmosphere out in public we would probably look very different than what you imagine. Ella and I are for the most part, stuck at the hip, and one of 'those' couples who absolutely adore each other. She is my better half for sure and while our dynamic is very strong, you can be sure I love and respect her.

It is true that, if you spent enough time with us you would probably get a sense of the dynamic in our relationship but you would also understand some other things. You would see that I value her input and I look for her opinions. And above all, I have one rule which I feel is the most important rule of any relationship. That is, 'if I care intensely about her happiness and she does the same for me, the rest will take care of itself'. Sure, we have our disagreements, but we work through those quite well. And no, that's not because I pull the ole 'I'm the boss so you will do as I say!' routine.

For the important things of everyday life she gets her say and you can bet I listen.
I could give you a lot of examples. We just had a discussion on closet space. Ella complained that it wasn't fair because I had 60-70% of the closet. And she was right so I gave up more closet space.

So your next question may be, 'so if that's the case, how does this whole dynamic thing work in the context of real life?'. Well, it applies to a variety of areas. Areas such as, health, safety, good/bad habits and general respect in our relationship. First off, it's important to note, Ella doesn't need me. If she and I could not be together, she would do just fine. Ella's smart and capable.

We have this dynamic because she likes having me weigh in with a little more authority on certain areas. Why is that? Honestly, I don't know. I do know though that having that little twist to what would otherwise be your typical relationship keeps things interesting. I think for those of us who like this lifestyle, we really love the classic dynamic between a man and woman as it kind of supercharges those differences. Some women love a man who is strong and when a guy exerts that strength at the right time in a safe and trusting environment it is very attractive to her.

Obviously, as a guy it's very important to keep certain things in check to make sure things don't go overboard and to make sure Ella always feels comfortable in these situations. Ella has to be able to trust that I don't let things get out of control and I can assure you that things never happen while I'm in some angry state. That would be irresponsible on my part and our trust is too important. I take great pains to ensure our relationship does not become abusive. Plus, Ella would never put up with that.

Finally, you might think that all this has come about because I've manipulated Ella and brainwashed her. But that would be so far from the truth. Actually, she and I met at a party for folks like us. She came with another girlfriend of her own free will. She went because she wanted to come. And I can promise you, if she ever came to the point where she wanted out or just thought I was an idiot or something to that nature, she'd leave. That's her irrevocable right to being happy, just like the choice to be in this kind of relationship. As they say, different strokes for different folks:)


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Saturday, March 31, 2012

We're Alive!

I'm sure you're all used to us dropping off the face of the planet, so it's no surprise I'm also back :). I probably won't have a lot of time to blog this month because I'm finishing up my last semester, and it's kicking me in the butt!

Phew, I don't even know where to begin on catching you all up. Part of the reason I've been so busy lately is that I had been applying/interviewing to grad schools, and luckily I also got in! I'm signing myself away to another 5 years of schooling; I know I must be crazy. However, I'm very happy that all my work is paying off :). I'm going to be very happy and relieved 5 years from now when I'm finished with school for good!

As for the dry spell that Christopher and I had been having a while back, it's much better now. We go through spurts where we like to experiment with different types of D/s and what not. For a while we had gone through a very rough BDSM style, and I realized that it was starting to negatively affect my DD submission. However, I'm in no way saying that the rougher BDSM style is negative. I just wasn't paying attention to how it was effecting our daily DD dynamic. When we finally figure it out, he and I started working on some softer submission exercises that are more.... "domestic."

Recently, we've also started something new. I don't know about any of you, but I get spanked ALL the time. I don't get spanked for very many big things, but I get pulled over several time a week for minor things. However, C and I noticed that those several mini spankings weren't making a very significant impact on my behavior. He thinks that it has to do with time. By the time he's given me 10 swats, we've both already moved  on, and I haven't had enough time to focus on the fact that I just got punished. So last week, instead of giving me "swats," he's switched it to "minutes." I have to say, it makes a difference! 10 swats is nothing, but 10 minutes makes me think about it! We haven't had much time to really experiment with it, but I'll let you know how it goes...

I miss hearing from all of you. Especially the people I got used to hearing from in my comments section regularly. My life's not the same without you :D! I have one more month to finish this thesis, then it's finals, and then I'm out of here! Does anyone still come around anymore? 

Friday, March 30, 2012

Server issues

UPDATE
Ok, we're back up with issues resolved.  Thanks for everyone's patience. 

Christopher

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Blog and Response - 2 Birds, 1 Stone


Goodness Gracious, it's been so long since I've been able to get back to the blog that I can't even remember what I've written. Here's what I'm thinking thought. Zelle and Blush, I began to respond to you both in the last comment feed, but it was turning so long that I decided to just make a post out of it since it's been so long since my last.

I actually agree a lot with you Zelle and Blush. Though this situation, I believe (though naive my point of view may be), is a tad different. When I was trying to figure out what was wrong, my first thought was to think, "Christopher has gotten lazy." He's gotten way too wrapped up in dance, and I am no longer his priority. He's letting things slip, and it is HIS job as the dominant one in this relationship to not let that happen. It's his job to lovingly correct me when I step out of line, or else HE'S not taking care of ME. I was pretty emotional about it too. I felt sort of left on the curb.

Here's the thing. It is exactly how you two say, he is the leader among equals. I am not his slave, I submit to him. There's a difference. I do not believe that it is his job to necessarily MAKE me submit. I love Audra's blog title, "The Gift of Submission." And the beauty of this different character lies in the gift. I can completely relate to Laurie in that I will not submit to someone when I detect weakness(for lack of a better word right now). Christopher is not, even in the slightest way, vanilla. I couldn't understand why he was "being so lazy." Was he falling out of interest for me? Did he get his fill and have enough? We had a conversation, and I was upfront about my need, and how it was not being met. How I needed him to take the reigns back. I blamed him.

But going back to C not being vanilla. It's not that he lacks initiative and power on DD issues. The man breathes it and it leaks from his blood. So what the heck was going on? Because while I was expecting an, "Oh, I'll step it up," there was something else that was the matter, and neither of us could figure it out at first. And that's when we realized that it wasn't that he wasn't demanding, it's that I was refusing to give. This dance, this relationship, this lifestyle is a two way street. He's the leader, but my connection was all off, and my follow was like a brick wall. There are many instances where the dominant needs to roar loudly in order to get the submissive's attention, we agree. And my first thought was that he stopped roaring. At the end of the day, we are a vanilla couple first, and a DD couple second. As Laurie says all the time, it's all about consent. He can roar as loud as he bloody wants, but we're vanilla first, he can "encourage" me (rather strongly of course), to submit to him, to take control of me. But it is then my choice to follow. And if I choose not to, the ultimate say really lies with me, with my consent, as my gift.

Just my thoughts :). Maybe I was missing the point.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Reflection - Back to the Beginning

Sheesh, I don't even know where to start with this. It doesn't really have a beginning, middle, or end. If anything, I'm just using this entry to try and process all that is going on.

Here's how the day started. All I could think of was Image Vomit:



Earlier, I didn't even have words to put with how I was feeling. I felt in NEED, but I didn't know what for. Eventually, I realized that I was craving for some connection to DD/Spanko world. I realized how VANILLA our life had become. This isn't the first time that DD has taken the back seat in our lives, and it won't be the last. It comes with the natural ebb and flow, and we're ok with that. But today, I realized how desperate I was for some of it back. 

Has anyone else ever flirted with the idea of telling vanilla friends about our lifestyle? I know that there are a lot of people who are open about it, but I mean the people who keep their DD life completely hidden to the vanilla world like us. I needed some type of release today and I found myself trying to drop hints to one of my poor vanilla friends who would never have known what hit him. It was like getting the rush from going bungee jumping. I started texting friends who are in DD relationships, and that was nice too. It help me realize the lack of it that we've had. 

Christopher has been noticing the lag in this part of our life as well. But neither of us really knew what to do to fix it. We've always used "reset" weekends to jump start us again. But there was something different that was bothering us, and we just couldn't figure it out. After 2 hours of exhausting, blind conversation we had a major break through. 

We go through theme like phases. Sometimes I like it when he is very physically rough with me. Other times we go through a Stepford wife sort of thing. A handful of months ago, we went through a long period of the rough and tumble. It was great for us at the time, but neither of us realized the subtle shifts in perspective it caused. During that phase, I got into a very challenging attitude. Instead of dominance and submission, it turned into a battle of the wills. It became about whether his stick was better than my will. And you know what? I can be pretty damn stubborn. A couple sessions turned into a habit which turned into a changed perspective. I would get frustrated with him when he would spank me. In my head it was no longer about the punishment; it was a challenge. We both got tired, and neither of us knew why. 

I am now going through a major perspective shifting period. I'm shifting my mind back to the way it was before. I never even meant to shift out of it, and it was ever so subtle. It's the difference between being obedient out of respect for him as my dominant as opposed to obedience because I'll get spanked. It also meant I was doing a lot of negotiating and arguing because I didn't take him seriously anymore. We believe that it's very important to have a strong vanilla relationship. The problem is that we turned too vanilla. 

This is almost scary, and most assuredly humbling as it shatters my pride. I feel like it is resubmitting myself to invisible restraints... Obedience and submission are so urgently on my mind... This is where I'm going to process like a diary.... I'm trying to think of all the ways where my perspectives have shifted and I must correct. 

I must stop fighting him when he chooses to discipline me. 

I must stop arguing and negotiating with him. He isn't suggesting, he's ordering.

hmmm...

Instead of thinking about how unfair it is that he can overpower me and spank me, while I am upside down over his knee, I should really think about what I did to get myself there.

I need to allow myself to be punished instead of frustrated because he won in getting me over his knee.

I need to be sweet.

I must respect his authority.

I'll post more as I think of them...